storyteller, inspirator, coach & pionier
I was working out on a square sports mat with a few others. What were we doing? I tried to see it better. Were we trying to dance? We had been busy for a while and it was quite difficult. Low on the ground we made kickbox movements, and I tried to make increasingly bigger movements, but from this position it was awkward and almost impossible to do. I kept trying nonetheless. The room was kind of a small hall, and I looked up. There were windows, but not much, and they were wide and placed high on the wall. Behind the windows I saw some sulky looking men walk past; I felt an enormous threat coming from them. Would they come into the hall? I had to do something before they would. My movements became bigger and bigger, my legs reaching further every time. Suddenly I felt power and I made an enormous kick in the direction of the windows. I felt that I touched the glass and could go through it as if it was nothing. I saw the first glass splinters fly through the air, sparkling in the sunlight.
I awaken from this dream in my B&B in Ireland. So clear, so interpretive and so visible in all details. It was one of those explanation dreams like I had had many before during my two wonderful trips to Ireland. Until this one, my dreams had only offered me help to come to terms with my past. This time, clearly, it was different. The message felt bigger and directed at the future.
What was this dream about, that felt more like a vision? What was the glass that I had to break through, what was the nearing threat, what did that dance floor represent and what were the forced movements about? How could I explain this for myself? Was it about my organization, my marriage or my family? Or was it about everything that I could experience in energy since recently and what that had done to my perspective on the world? After all, a new reality had come to me with a thunderous roar.
Shortly after the passing away of my father I could not surpass the feeling that I needed to travel to Ireland. The whispers were so clear. I had experienced this need since my burnout and now I was still in the free year that I had given to myself. My burnout had announced itself by a temporary paralysis in a part of my righthand that lasted two days. It started just after a conversation with the founder of a good organization, who worked for the same target audience. He had been able to broaden his concept and was now in an enormous growing phase. Suddenly I saw I could have also been there with my organization, if I had not made myself dependent on subsidy.
The paralysis in my right hand was a physical translation of not handling actively. Eventually everything is energy, even if I could not see it in that way at the moment. I did not give my right hand the space it needed, causing a confrontation with the menacing shutdown of my organization. I had seen the alternative routes shine but had almost only seen the wolves on the road instead of the chances.
Quickly I learnt that, also outside of my work, I was out of my flow in all different fronts. One by one the dominoes fell over. I started to see that I had missed lots of signals that had been brought to me to get me back in my flow. So many choices, not based on space and love, but on safety, control and responsibility, which made that I had parked myself against the wall on so many fronts. Now I know that this all was needed to get me back on my path now. But then I only asked myself how, for God’s sake, I had gotten it done and why?
After this trip I got big birds “to visit” weekly, that flew against my living room window. Every time the household help would come to me saying that the window needed to be washed again, since a big print because of the bird was visible. I was shocked every time again when she came with this story. I would realize that I still did not break through the glass from the vision in Ireland, and that there was a necessity to do so; these birds did not fly against my window on purpose. There was no way out. They brought me a message every time to make the connection with myself, listen to myself, so I could make the right choices and live more conscious and confident.
Not much later I got another probing “bird message” at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam, on the way to New York for a conference about consciousness development what I had been looking forward to a lot. Despite that, at check-in it turned out that I forgot to apply for an Esta. How did I manage to do this? When I discovered that it takes about three days to apply nowadays, and I had only 2 hours before boarding, the panic rose.
Outside of the departure hall, I was looking at a glass wall, when suddenly a white feather was lying before my feet. It got taken up by a small sparrow, that showed me that I should move with the stream. A beautiful message, maybe everything would turn out well after all. What I did after that was the opposite, because I was talking myself down on the phone. At that moment another small sparrow flew at breakneck speed close by my head, and smacked dead on the glass wall before me. I was startled. Where were I with my thoughts? Negative thoughts would not help me to receive my Esta in time. Straight away, I started manifesting the admittance of the Esta, by surrendering to a positive outcome. I was putting it in my energy this way, and from that moment was doing this non-stop. To my great gladness I saw “granted” at my digital application, 10 minutes before boarding time. I did it! I ran to the check-in, ignoring the new long queue for the next flight. When I got there, somebody was already waving with my boarding pass. Because of the proactive acting of this lady I could catch my plane at the last moment. This had been a nice lesson in energy. I may always choose for trust. After all, you create your own reality and your mindset is determinative in that. Planning this trip to New York already happened in such a stream of synchronicities, that I could have trusted in this outcome. I only needed to hold it in my energy, but I had forgotten this for a moment.
Ghandi taught us to be conscious that our thoughts generate our words, our words actions, our actions habits, our habits character and character our future.
The window that I was allowed to kick through in my dream in Ireland, stands for breaking through my past reality to a bigger reality. By everything we think and feel, our consciousness brings us our own world. The birds led me the way to the new world.
photo above: Possen, CC BY NC